7 steps towards food freedom for you
Learning how to eat intuitively isn’t actually about ‘learning how to listen’, it is, to a degree, but the biggest part is about letting go of all the things that are disrupting this very naturel process that is already there.
The Meditation Practice
Step 1 | Change is possible
You can truly do this; it was never you that was the problem.
As I have spoken to hundreds of women over the last 7-8 years, I can confidently tell that it’s not a YOU problem. As much as you might think something is wrong with YOU, there isn’t. And I’m so happy you made this step to realise it fully.
Our culture is obsessed with how women look. There is ONE specific beauty standard and nothing else. As your diet directly influences the way your body looks, so much of our natural way of eating has been distorted.
We are here to rebel against that. You deserve to live a full life that is not focused on how much you weigh and how you look and to always feel like you have to be ‘better’: skinnier and more ‘toned’. Or *insert your beliefs about how your body is not good enough yet*. You are worthy, beautiful and normal right f*king now. So, welcome.
Since you have been lied to, let’s get into some real things, so you know change is possible for you too. Oh, and shame and judgment do not have a place here. Please leave your inner bitch at the door and start being compassionate and kind towards yourself right now.
First things first. What IS diet culture?
“Diet culture is a system of beliefs that prioritises thinness (and looking ‘fit’), equating it with health and worthiness. It promotes restrictive eating, obsessing over food and exercise, and labelling certain foods as "good" or "bad." This mindset often disregards individual well-being and diversity in body shapes, fostering guilt and shame around eating and body image.”
Our society is drenched in this. So, if you don’t feel neutral or positive about your body, that is normal. It is not you, it’s learned. This means you can unlearn it. The way diet culture f*cks up your eating is because it has you believe you can't trust your body and are never good enough. It tells you to "fix" your body through unsustainable restrictions that disconnect you from FEELING & trusting yourself. When these fail (as they inevitably do, literally), it blames you, reinforcing feelings of failure and convincing you that even stricter rules are the solution because, apparently, if you let go of the rules, you are out of control.
But you are not. And you can change the way you approach yourself. From there, you can start to make choices that actually feel good. A healthy lifestyle that fits YOUR life, instead of you needing to fit the lifestyle.
So, let all of this sink in a bit. Forgive yourself, as you never did anything wrong. You can relax now. And recognise when judgement or shame comes up and choose to be kind instead.
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Journal Prompt
How would you feel if you learned right now that there was never anything wrong with you? That there was nothing that needed to be fixed? That the only thing that was needed for you to feel better, relaxed and confident was to fall in love with who you already are?
Step 2 | Good vs. Bad: Perfection & Sabotage
You don’t need a plan — instead, you want to make peace with food.
Letting go of diet culture means letting go of the idea of a perfect diet/routine that needs to be kept for balance & health. We see this a lot on social media and with diets in general. This idea of ‘perfection’ is very unrealistic and, most importantly, not necessary for health and well-being. It’s way more about the big picture and regular daily choices that matter and have an impact. You could say a rough 80% healthy, 20% less healthy choices is fine.
Even though we might like the idea of this perfect routine, it just doesn’t work that way. Life isn’t like Instagram. It’s messy; it’s a lot, a lot of the time. And we are not robots. We have different needs every day. That is normal.
It is actually unhealthy to be obsessively focused on food & exercise that is, in the end, meant to control how you look. So let’s not. There is no getting ‘back on track’, as it requires the idea of being off track, stemming from ‘the perfect plan’.
How restriction fuels binging and out-of-control / disconnected eating, creating unbalance.
In diet culture, being on track usually means restriction of some kind. The idea is that with enough ‘willpower’, you can make this happen forever (which doesn’t work). The restricting will at some point fail and make you swing towards the other end of the spectrum, from a place of ‘fuck it!!’, which diet culture blames YOU for instead of the approach, again ‘proving’ to you that you indeed need a diet because otherwise, you are out of control.
This doesn’t always mean a diet-diet, but also trying to be ‘good’ and labelling certain foods as ‘bad’ works in the same way. If you are just slightly trying to limit your food during the day, at the end of the day, you will be HUNGRY and eat more (than you normally would have), then say, ‘Tomorrow I will do better’, restricting even more.
Note: even if you are not physically restricting, there is often A LOT of mental restricting and punishing “I shouldn’t be eating this, I will compensate later”, etc.
Instead, we want to create peace with food and our bodies so we can make healthy choices that feel good daily from a place of trust and listening to our bodies.
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Journal Prompt
In which ways are you restricting your food? How are you making decisions around food? Is it based on how you look or a goal you have? Or are you listening to what you need at the moment?
Step 3 | Looking Good vs Feeling Good
Accepting Your Body: what if there is nothing to fix?
What if losing weight and looking fitter is not the answer to feeling better? Looking good and feeling good are not the same. This idea of ‘fixing’ is born from a feeling of not being good enough (based on society’s unreachable standards). Or it’s this vague idea about how we should do things ‘better’, seeing our health more as an external picture than daily choices that support it.
The only way to create a body you feel confident in is to become comfortable in your own body right now. No external look will ever ‘give’ you that feeling. Hating yourself towards change will also never reach the point of satisfaction. The belief that a certain picture WILL give you confidence is instilled in us very early on. It’s a hard one to see through. But this doesn’t mean it’s true. Your body is just existing right now. Taking care of you. Keeping you alive. We’re putting labels on it, judging it and making it a constant renovation project instead of our home.
I hear from a lot of clients something along the lines of: “But I REALLY don’t like my belly/thighs/arms, it is not okay”.
So, I want to plant a little seed here: what if it is not about being pretty for once? But about lovingly accepting and respecting yourself? Healing the relationship with yourself?
A good first step is recognising the story in your mind. Because your judgements aren’t really yours. These beauty standards constantly change throughout the years. You should not demand your body to meet them, in the same way that your body shouldn’t need to fit into clothes, but the clothes should fit YOU. This unrealistic beauty standard is only enhanced by social media and marketing. So, let’s recognise how this is part of our culture and rebel against it.
What if you can be okay with yourself right now?
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Journal Prompt
How would people who love you describe you? What are qualities within yourself that you like?
Step 4 | Trust & Intuitive Eating
Relaxing into the natural system of your body
So if not diet culture, then what? Intuitive eating means going back to basics. A lot of it is about unlearning; we are not used to that as the way to get somewhere, though, so it needs some patience and, an open mind, some courage.
These are the ten principles of Intuitive Eating:
1. Reject the Diet Mentality – Let go of diet culture and the false promises of quick fixes.
2. Honor Your Hunger – Listen to and respect your body’s hunger cues.
3. Make Peace with Food – Stop labelling foods as “good” or “bad” and allow all foods without guilt.
4. Challenge the Food Police – Silence the critical voices that judge your food choices or body.
5. Discover the Satisfaction Factor – Find pleasure in eating and create enjoyable meals.
6. Feel Your Fullness – Tune into your body’s signals to recognise when you’ve had enough.
7. Cope with Your Emotions with Kindness – Address emotions without using food as the only solution.
8. Respect Your Body – Accept and appreciate your body as it is, without unrealistic expectations.
9. Movement—Feel the Difference – Focus on joyful movement that feels good, not just for calorie burning.
10. Honor Your Health with Gentle Nutrition – Choose foods that satisfy and nourish you while honouring your taste preferences.
All of these principles lead you back to a healthy, relaxed relationship with food: everything is allowed, and by listening to and respecting yourself, you make daily choices that feel good and nourish your body.
By letting go of restrictions, you can start to find true balance. By listening to your body and honouring your preferences, you will automatically eat what you need and not more. So you don’t have to be afraid of it escalating. The escalating behaviour comes from disrupted eating patterns based on restriction.
The more you are allowed to eat something and actually do it, the less scary (and less interesting) it automatically becomes. We call this food habituation. If you would eat pizza every single meal, you will end up not wanting it. This is how we neutralise the foods you have restricted for so long. You can experience how your ‘cravings’ will become less if you allow yourself to eat freely.
This is one of the big reasons you don’t have to be scared to let go of your food rules. We are aiming for long-term balance. And it’s not this wild “all you can eat” situation every day since you also will start to honour your body’s signals.
But also that intuitive eating is about more than that. It is freedom from diet culture impacting your daily life. This also means accepting your body, being relaxed around food, and letting go of the constant thinking about it. It’s also nourishing your body with nutritious food from a place of respect towards your body.
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Exercise:
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Start asking yourself what you would eat in the moment if everything was allowed. You don’t have to listen to it yet if that feels scary. Just get curious about what you would REALLY want.
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Notice any food rules you have and write them down. What are they, and why?
Step 5 | What to eat?
Putting it into practice
This is a big step for a lot of people. It’s time to put it all into practice! It’s normal to find it uncomfortable. So please know that’s totally okay. You can take it slow, try things out and go from there, building trust in yourself.
*Please note that if it feels too overwhelming, I do offer one-on-one coaching to take this step together. Please assess for yourself if you feel the mental stability to take on this challenge.
So, what to do?
Become more aware of when you are hungry and when you are full. Eat with mindfulness. Take your time to taste, enjoy and receive the food you chose. Allow yourself to experiment with the amount of food you eat. How does it feel when you eat a bit more or a bit less? What cues is your body giving you?
Get curious about when & what you eat, too. There are no rules about time. You can eat many little things. Or a second ‘lunch’. Or eat after 10 pm at night. You can have dinner as breakfast and breakfast food as dinner. Everything is allowed.
So, ask yourself what you want in the moment. Because if you listen in the moment, you don’t need a plan. That IS the plan.
Additional questions to ask yourself that might help in this process of figuring out what you want:
Do you want something big or small? Sweet or savoury? Hot or cold? Something fresh? Or something more nourishing? Something crunchy or something soft? Or do you want a combination of these things?
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Exercise:
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Start to pay more attention to when you are hungry and when you are satisfied, not only physically but also mentally. Did you enjoy the food? Is there a specific food you want?
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Eat with more mindfulness! Take your time to taste, enjoy and receive the food.
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Notice the difference after you’ve eaten between when you listen to what you are in the mood for versus when you restrict your choices.
Step 6 | Permission & Making Space
Letting go of restrictions to feel what you want
As you now know, restriction creates desire. As you are exploring food freedom, you can start to feel what you want, as the shoulds and musts are gone. If everything is allowed, you can finally start to feel what you even want. A lot of the intuitive eating journey is letting go of what it is not and making space for a natural & normal relationship with food.
As we are making space, you can choose what feels good. So, I wanted to bring some attention to point 10, “Honor Your Health—Gentle Nutrition: Make food choices that honour your health and taste buds while making you feel good.”
Intuitive eating does mean making healthy choices. Choosing nourishing foods like fruit, veggies, whole grains, beans, nuts and other sources of healthy fats & proteins. So it is NOT eating cookies all day ‘because I’m allowed’. We are moving towards respecting your body and finding what feels good; cookies are PART of it.
Now… What feels good in your body? Probably not eating ONLY cookies. But if you have a cookie resistance based on lots of ‘health’ restrictions, be mindful of the following:
A lot of people have made themselves believe that, for example, gluten/bread or perhaps cookies ‘just don’t feel good in their bodies’. This often comes up when I talk about allowing everything. You may have this idea around especially ‘unhealthy’ labelled foods that just don’t ‘feel good’ in your body.
But I want to challenge you here. Is that based on truly FEELING it, or more about the idea that it is somehow wrong/dirty/unhealthy? Maybe every time you have eaten it, you feel ashamed and/or gross. This, of course, will link that feeling to that food. But usually (unless you are allergic/intolerant), your body will happily digest food.
The same is true for certain combinations: you can mix & match food. Your stomach isn’t ‘thinking’ Wow, this is a lot of different things. That’s just your mind. Become aware of the rules you still have around food and challenge them!
Weight loss/body Note: can I still lose weight? Not intentionally, because when you base your actions on outside numbers, you are actively NOT listening to your own needs and not learning how to trust yourself.
Part of intuitive eating is trusting and accepting where your body lands when you listen to your body and make peace with food. It is completely okay and supportive of your health.
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Journal Prompt
What fears do you have around food? And can you approach them with kindness and understanding to become your own cheerleader, reassuring yourself you are doing okay on this new path? So you can eat cookies guilt-free?
Step 7 | Compassion & Kindness
A big component of this journey has to be compassion. This makes a lot of people slightly uncomfortable, and PLEASE do not skip this part. Without it, you can not find success in taking care of yourself from a healthy place. This whole journey of changing the way you look at yourself and food will confront you with your criticism, harsh thoughts and feelings towards yourself. Your mind has a lot of thoughts you should not believe.
Dealing with the restrictions and ideas you encounter with kindness will make a big difference. It is time to become your own cheerleader instead of your biggest bully. You can not hate yourself for change. It is not actually motivating you. The idea that if you let go of criticism, it will make you ‘even more lazy/out of control’ IS diet culture.
You don’t need that criticism to make healthy choices that make you feel good; you can do that from a place of care. The more you can love, respect and accept yourself and your body, the easier it will become to make loving (aka healthy and balanced) choices for yourself, as you will want to take care of yourself. Your whole self. So, not just your body but enjoying good food and feeling free is essential to your mental health, for example.
All of this takes courage and self-acceptance. This all starts with your mind. Recognise the voice in your head and stop being bullied by it. Create a best friend instead. If you want a loving and beautiful relationship, it generally helps to be kind to someone, listen to their worries, say soothing and reassuring things, and just be sweet and open, right? Now, you get to do this towards yourself.
For example, you don’t feel confident in your body yet, and your natural response is to judge that about yourself. Having compassion for not being confident is actually the first step in truly supporting yourself.
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Journal Prompt
What do you think happens when you do everything perfectly?
What are you looking to feel like? Is that feeling available right now if you are more kind?
How does it feel if you accept that there is no perfect way, so whatever you do is okay?
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Exercise:
Note negative thoughts and judgments at least once a day and choose to respond with kindness and compassion. You don’t have to fully believe it yet, but just test it out. ;-)
Step 8 | Emotional Eating & Coping with Food
Emotional eating isn’t always the typical ice-cream-eating Bridget-Jones-style after heartbreak. Food can be super delicious and comforting. This has led MANY to turn to food whenever they want to feel good when perhaps they don’t actually feel good. Maybe there are some uncomfortable emotions, something you’re avoiding, or you simply feel a bit bored. Not being able to stop yourself from making certain food choices falls in the category of emotional eating, and most people do it at some point, usually very often.
So, how do you find more balance?
Step one: recognise your own patterns: what is happening and when?
Step two: do not judge yourself. Seriously.
Step three: whenever you find yourself in that moment again, slow down. Postpone the eating for 5-10 minutes and sit. Feel. Perhaps write about what you are experiencing or do the meditation to help you tune in to what is going on.
Step four: you can choose if you still want to eat, if so, do it mindfully. Taste every bite. And after a while, take a break again.
Step five: realise that you are allowed to eat as much as you want but that it’s good to think about what is truly a choice of self-love from a place of awareness.
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Note: The tips above are just a start. So if you struggle with emotional eating, please know that sometimes there is a lot to unpack before you can change these patterns. It is something that needs more exploration and personal attention that I simply can't give in this mini program. If this is you, I am here for you, just keep reading and book a call!
Feel like you need some personal guidance in this process?
You have started your journey towards food freedom and body acceptance. But I know from years of experience it can take a while to really GET IT, you know? And that's okay. Give yourself time to integrate and try out these steps.
But sometimes, moving forward means diving deeper into your unique story. This is where one-on-one coaching becomes truly transformative. Together, we can tackle your unique challenges and create habits that fit your life. You don't have to do this alone, I am here to guide you.
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